My grandparents had a rule that they would use on each other to keep the family running smoothly. It's a simple regulation, but if anyone broke it, they would call foul immediately.
The rule is this: You only get seven minutes of whining a day. Any more belly-aching than that, and you're just wallowing. So shut it.
Grandmother still enforces this one on the family, and it's safe to bet that she's pulled it out on a few crybaby strangers from time to time, too.
With that rule in mind, I will not go into great detail about how stiff my legs are or how I had to use my arms to lower myself onto the toilet today. No. I will instead pop my Advil quietly, chase it with a handful of olives (washed down with vodka) and quit bitching.
But tomorrow's a whole new day with seven more minutes.