it's a new year, so my dreams of having a slightly smaller, cuter rear-end swamped my brain right around 3 p.m. on New Year's Day. pausing between bites of french fries, i suddenly realized: i've got to go to the gym and lose some weight and get buff and refuse all the cigarettes keith offers me and drink only red wine in small portions to keep my heart healthy, except when i'm drinking water with my daily vitamins and sickness-preventing echinacea.
so i drug myself to the gym on monday, the same day everyone else decided to go, and after squeezing myself into my seemingly shrunken workout clothes, i climbed onto the treadmill. i had just broken a good sweat and was feeling like maybe i deserved a treat for being so dedicated to taking care of my body when the gym's music network broke out into some bob dylan. who the hell can exercise to "tangled up in blue"? i started singing along, and pretty soon i wasn't running on the treadmill anymore. i was sorta strolling along to the song. maybe the fierce mental consideration i gave to the lyrics made up for the loss of momentum, but i doubt it. my ass whittled no calories on monday, thanks to dylan's slow song and my wimpy will. i'll try to get some work done at the gym again tonight... hopefully dylan was just a cameo.