Monday, October 16, 2006

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

I've had four cigarettes in the last two months. I had one while watching the sunset in Italy, two with Julie and one at the infused-vodka bar with Megann.
I'm pretty proud of myself for getting out of my daily habit, but I didn't come this far alone. I've been on the nicotine patch. I plunked down $250 for all three stages of the patch, and I've slowly worked my way through the system.
I started with the 21 mg patch, hereby known as the My-arm-is-going-to-fall-off stage. It lasted a full month, and every patch made my skin itch and my muscles hurt. I couldn't carry my purse on the patch arm because it would start throbbing. But 21 mg cured my need for a cigarette. Plus, I had vivid dreams every night.
Then I moved on to the 14 mg patch, which was a lot easier on my body. During that two-week stint, I still had movie-like dreams, but my muscles were rarely sore. I never felt nauceous on 14 mg.
Now I am about to finish the 7 mg patch. It's so small that I forget I'm wearing it. I've only got two days left on the system before I'm supposed to become a non-smoker on my own.
I'm really nervous about the end. I cheated on the patch four times, even though my physical addiction was all but over. I'm afraid I'll immediately want to light up and puff. With the patch, I'm not nervous about hanging out with my smoker friends, but what if I break down when the first excuse comes along. (I'm wearing red today. Must be time for a smoke!)
Does anyone have any advice? (Other than "Quit crying, you big baby!")
In the meantime, I'm going to savor my last two patches.

5 comments:

Mary B. said...

You've done awesome, EB. If you need something to help you once you're past the patch, I recommend, "Mr. Correction." Take an ordinary rubber band and put it around your wrist. If you catch yourself reaching to light up, give yourself one good pop. This will make you remind you that what you are attempting to do is bad and your body will begin to associate irritating pain with the urge to smoke. Try it. Good luck, EB!

Anonymous said...

I'm here for your darlin! i'm your cheering section! but if you start smoking imagine I am your booing section. I boo really loud and annoyingly.

Anonymous said...

You can win this battle! I know you can. Years ago Rosalind Russell was told by her Dr. that she would add years to her life(and as hokey as it sounds--life to her years) if she stopped smoking. When she walked out of the Dr.'s office, she wrote in her autobiography that she threw away what remained in the pack in her purse in the nearest waste bin on the street corner.....Cold Turkey, and never looked back. Patch it or turkey it--JUST DO IT! I believe in you!

Anonymous said...

Not to be a total downer and drama queen, but think about CANCER! Don't do it. You are better than the cigerette. Something that helped me...when I felt the need for smoke I just simply enhaled very deep as if taking a drag and then exhaled. Just getting the extra oxygen helped. Good luck and God bless! Hi by the way!!!

Unknown said...

Maybe you could put a bandaid on for a few days as a reminder. You never know what will work.