Try not to blow your thumb off!

Fireworks over Manhattan
Originally uploaded by typingelbow.

Happy 4th, guys!
I am so glad we're getting a four-day weekend! I've got a lot planned... My friend Keith is coming up from New Orleans to admire Madonna's twins from the third row, so I'll get to spend some time with the Big Easy crowd; I might lose $20 at a poker party; the beach is calling my name; and I sense a few afternoon naps in my future.

Catch you guys later.

Oh, and I took this picture on Puerto Rican Day while standing on the promenade in Brooklyn Heights.

Attack of the killer oven!

Fireman party at EB's!!
Originally uploaded by typingelbow.

Gibbons (in the picture) was one of eight firemen who dropped by the house last Saturday. I wish I'd been doing a photo shoot for next year's NYFD calendar, but instead they came by to see if my oven was trying to kill me.

My carbon monoxide alarm went off twice while John was making chicken jello (stock, you know, for sauce and other chef-y things). The second time it went off, I had a little headache--which could have been a touch of hangover--so I called the city's information line, 311.

They didn't even let me get my question out before transferring me to 911 and sending a flock of firemen to my door. They decided we should get the oven checked out before using it again, so they turned off the gas and left.

An hour later, the gas company showed up. Their guy waved a loudly beeping wand around the room and declared the oven to be an "immediate hazzard."

So John and I are eating energy bars and cold salads for dinner these days. And I didn't even manage to get any signatures on my firemen calendar.

Hopefully, my landlord will return my call soon and hire a new-oven fairy that delivers up three flights.

No time for sleep

Mary B. came up for one last visit before she heads off to Tennessee for graduate school. She's about to become my only family member with a grad degree. She's my favorite smarty pants.

While she was in town, we managed to eat...
pizza at Grimaldi's
fried chicken from the chef
ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery
octopus balls on East 9th Street
freeze-dried ice cream at the Natural History Museum. (blech. coffee creamer.)
and jellybellies from Dylan's Candy Store.

We also guzzled a few drinks, including...
licorice and blue coconut cocktails at Sushi Twist
frozen mojitos at Havana Outpost
margaritas at Dave and Buster's arcade (We killed a bunch of zombies there.)
one beer at Hank's Saloon, we escaped before the country music made Mary B.'s head explode
and jasmine milk bubble tea.

It was a wonderful visit, and I miss my baby sister so much. Good luck in grad school, pumpkin!

I thought Typingelbow had died

OMFG! I thought I accidentally offed Typingelbow just now. When I started my blogger account, I somehow created two blogs. One with 96 posts and one with only my first Blogger post.

When I joined YouTube today, I accidentally plugged in my gimpy Typingelbow blog and to fix it, I had to kill the less viable e-twin. I broke out in a sweat when I hit the scary button at the bottom the page, "DELETE THIS BLOG." I was afraid that I was fucking something up and would lose all of my posts. I hit the button and PANICKED when I couldn't get the page to show up again.

God, when did I start caring so much about this thing? I've only got about a five regular readers (Hi, Brandi, John, Mary... um. George. and. Alejandro) but it gave me a shock to think I might've erased everything.

Well, Typingelbow did not die today, and in fact, you three readers will be treated to more videos, now that I've figured out YouTube. However, I can't seem to reach any of my archives on the homepage. Well, who needs to read about my past anyway. Onward!!

UPDATE: The archives on the right are back in business. Now you can read the post about Pumba coming to live with me or the one about Jane Fonda's nipples.

A Friday funny

Titanic: The Sequel



This might be really old, but man, it made me laugh. Enjoy!

Aw, Katie

I don't even watch the damn Today show, but I was bawling when they started the Goodbye Katie Couric episode this morning. They showed clips from all the news stories she's covered, and the waterworks started when this one Hurricane Katrina victim was crying and said, "Help me, Katie."

From there, I cried through flashback reels of the Oklahoma City bombing, Columbine and the World Trade Center. I had to turn the TV off, because I would just weep right through all the nostalgic montages they are about to show. It would just be embarrassing to cry during the "Hairstyles through the Years" reel.

Five Senses of Vermont

John and I took a road trip with some friends to Vermont for Memorial Day weekend. Six hours and five diet cokes later, we rolled up to the big house on the hill and marveled at the weather. It couldn't have been more gorgeous.

Sight: Sailboats on the sparkling water.
Sound: The wind streaming over the top of the convertible's windshield.
Smell: Chicken and ribs on the barbeque.
Touch: The sun warming my shoulders as I paddled the canoe.
Taste: We house was filled with foodies, so we ate very well. 15 different cheeses, lush salads, pate, roasted corn, strawberry rhubarb pie and ribs so good they made me tear up a bit.

UPDATE: I took the picture of the dog in the sidecar at a gas station on our way to Lake Champlain, and the sunset shown from Julie's backyard.

Welcome back, Chicks!

I have so missed the Dixie Chicks since their last CD, Home. I know they've been off having babies and pissing off the red states, but I'm glad they are back to making music.
I learned to like some country music by growing up in South Arkansas. Back then, you either learned the words to Garth Brooks and George Strait's songs, or you bought your own CDs. We were broke, and I still know the words to most of George's Where the Sidewalk Ends album. I'm not sure that poor kids in El Dorado have many more choices now, since the same Top 40 DJ is still on the air down there. He probably still ends every broadcast with his nasal tagline, "If you can't be good, be good at it."

The Dixie Chicks are one of the few holdouts from my country days, and I buy every new CD on the first day they become available. I bought this one in a store instead of on iTunes because I heard they need a stronger showing in the stores to do better on the charts.

Cheers, Chicks! Welcome back.